The clothes, the posture, the body: The naked self.

I began in the studio with a suitcase full of clothes, signifying pieces that stood out in my over-crowded wardrobe of goodwill finds and Target deals. I selected my rhinestone studded prom dress, a fifties housewife shift and a modern flower patterned dress whose shape suggesting an older era. I put the clothes on in front of the lights and a self timer and began to interpret. Alone in the studio, I let my whole mind and body be a part of the clothing. Who wears this garment? How does she wear this garment? What restrictions, both physically and socially, are placed on a woman wearing this piece of cloth. What can a piece of cloth do to a person? What can I do to this pliable material that simultaneously binds our bodies and frees our expression? I created images about women, for women.

John Berger writes "a woman's presence expresses her own attitude to herself, and defines what can and cannot be done to her. Her presence is manifest in her gestures, voice, opinions, expressions, clothes, chosen surrounds, taste –– indeed there is nothing she can do which does not contribute to her presence."

Throughout several subsequent photo shoots, I watched my body and mind react differently with each garment. Some outfits conjured action easier then others. Some outfits feel more natural to my everyday experiences and aspirations. But every pose, every personal glance, every moment of self confidence stems from within and then is placed on the exterior through the expression of my body. Does my self confidence change from the more revealing outfit to the more modest? Does my body language tell you that I am part of my experience? Do I look like I'm in control of my own representation?

In these pictures, I am both the object and the subject but for several reasons, I try to reject objectification. Yes, I realize that I will always appear as an object to some, but it is my intent that that impression does not start with me. I think it is important to note, that there is no mirror in the room. I am not checking my hair on a regular basis or re-applying make up. These aren't a part of my daily habits and I wasn't about to bring them into my artistic space.

Berger's text also talks about the difference between the naked woman and the nude woman in a historical art context. The naked woman is herself, with all her flaws. She would recognize herself in the positions she is portrayed in and her uniqueness would transfer to the audience through the image. In contrast, the nude woman is ideal. She is generalized for a mass audience. Her body is smoothed out and her gesture is without spontaneity, for surprise isn't as titillating for optimum arousal. The audience wants to be comfortable in seeing what they have seem many times before, not forced to contemplate a new patch of hair or an awkward lump.

For all intensive purposes, I appear metaphorically naked in these photographs. In some regard, I have no choice but to appear this way. I do not possess the ideal body or perfect skin, things needed in order to be generalized. But I take more control then that. Not wanting to rest on my looks, I quite frequently appear in unflattering, self assured and possibly confrontational positions. My face takes little interest in arousing the viewer, and at times has a more inquisitive nature. I am not nude. I am not generalized. And even if there is beauty in these photographs, I am not letting my image be controlled by a preconceived stereotype.

But no statement of selfhood can be distilled so easily. I have absorbed our culture. I am a part and product of how I grew up. I cannot escape wanting to feel good about myself. I can't deny the constant struggle I have with my body to conform to the generalized image. So with all the self confidence I can muster I say, "Although I am comfortable being me, their is a small part of myself that will never give up wanting to be 'her'."